"The art of gathering" and the importance of grounding people in their purpose
Have you facilitated a meeting before? Or hosted a party?
What runs through your mind when you’re planning a gathering?
Are you a “chill host” (hint: Priya Parker, in her book, “The Art of Gathering”, suggests you shouldn’t be!)?
Do you ask yourself why you’re gathering people (and then why again and again, until you drill down to something meaningful) and use your answer to shape your event (hint: This will help you host a meaningful, memorable gathering!).
I was invited to speak at a Comprehensive School Mental Health State Policy Academy in Charlotte, North Carolina last month. At the start of one of the days, in small groups, the meeting facilitator had us answer what I think might be the most powerful icebreaker question I’ve been asked - “Who do you dedicate your learning here today to?”
The answers from the members of our small group were vulnerable, beautiful, and heartfelt - from stories of loss to children going off to college to reflections on one’s community. It was an invitation to not just think about our school mental health work and the impact it could have, but to ground ourselves in what this work means to us.
My answer surprised even me - as I thought about school mental health and who I’d want to dedicate my learning to, my thoughts gravitated to the people closest to me who had the least amount of support for their mental health as children - my parents.
This opening question is a powerful example of a point Priya Parker underscores in her book - don’t open with logistics. Get to those eventually, but they are a buzzkill as an opener. Instead, think about the deepest “why” of why this gathering is taking place and use that to plan a powerful opening. (Note: This goes for endings too, don’t end with thank yous! Get those in along the way, but to close, get people back to the core “why” of the gathering and inspire them to make a change - however small - as a result.)
Speaking of thought-provoking openers - while I was in Charlotte for this meeting, I wandered through the city and checked out the amazing public art sprinkled throughout, and this sculpture at the entrance to a park really caught my fancy, so I had to take a quick picture. What a way to invite people to think about their time in this outdoor gathering space.
“Life is an Open Book” by Brad Spencer in The Green, Charlotte, North Carolina
Every time we come together with others, whatever shape or form that takes, however casual or formal, we have an opportunity to elevate that gathering - from something mundane to something extraordinary. Take your shot. And shoot me a note to tell me all about it!
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